Change My Life, How To Say “F” It!
I have once again altered the name of this blog, only slightly this time, to reflect what it is truly about. I started out calling it Life Change For You, but was told that I had too many women entering menopause and not enough people wanting to better their lives reading it. Then I called it Change Your Life, but that made me sound like some sort of expert. Although I have studied this subject for some forty years, I still don’t consider myself an expert. My life is still F’ed up in many ways. What this post is about is to help you to say “F” it. It is how I changed my life, and how you can do the same. Welcome to Change My Life!
I said I was no expert, and yet I have read what seems like a million books on the subject. I worked in the metal health field and in business management. I went to seminary and got my Master’s degree and became a “minister”. I have worked with people and worked on myself for longer than some of you have been alive. That doesn’t mean I have all the answers for how you change the things in your life that you want to change! One thing I have recently learned is to say “F” it!
What I mean by this is that every book I have ever read on the subject of how to change my life has said, in one way or another, that I should learn to let go of the things that limit me. The problem with this is that we are all programed by our past. We learn most of our behaviors before the age of five and have been working on those behaviors ever since. We have the programming down!
It is hard to give up behaviors and habits that we have been working on and using for the past twenty, thirty, forty, sixty years. They are what we call second nature. We don’t even think about them, they just happen! Not so long ago, I came to the point where I was working on behaviors I wanted to change, but I just couldn’t quite seem to get there. I knew the answers in my head, but getting them into my heart and making them reality just didn’t seem possible. All of a sudden I just said, yeah, you got it, “F” it! I wanted the changes. I suddenly didn’t care if others thought I was crazy. I suddenly didn’t care if some people didn’t like the way I wanted to start acting. I wanted it and that was all that mattered.
I don’t think this is an easy place to get to, but I now think that, at least for me, this was an essential place. I had to get to the point where I no longer cared. I knew that the changes I wanted to make would be a good thing and that most people would probably be in agreement with them, but I didn’t care if they agreed or not. I wanted the change and I went for it.
Most of us can’t or won’t change due to fear. We are afraid that those close to use won’t like us anymore, or that they will criticize the new person we become. We don’t want to feel that sort of rejection, so, no matter how much we would like to change, we don’t. To get to the point where we don’t care about this anymore can be a very liberating feeling. And you know what, ninety-nine percent of those people like the new us even better that the old us.
Why?
The reason why is simple, We now are the people we were meant to be all the time. We are the people that leaked out and most others saw it in us, but we couldn’t see it ourselves. Those close to use see this new freedom, this new vitality and they are attracted to it, not repelled. Those who are repelled are not really our friends anyway.
Want to know how to change? Get to the place where you can say “F” it and mean it. Get to the place where you don’t care about other’s reactions and go for it. It is the only way I have found that works. Everything else just didn’t seem to work. Are you at that place? Do you need to get there?
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Shannon
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Steve


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