Don’t Be Afraid to Risk, Afraid to Reach Out

Are you afraid to make mistakes? Are you afraid that people won’t like you, criticize you, reject you. If this sounds like you, then I bet you live a life that is not exactly what you would call fulfilling. You probably sit alone and wish you could do something, meet someone, have a friend, be successful at something.

How do I know? Easy! This was me. This was who and what I was for years. I still struggle with it. I hate being rejected! I hate the feeling that someone doesn’t like me. I would rather piss and moan about not having friends than leave my comfort zone and risk. The good news is, I am pretty good at putting this tendency where it belongs and going ahead and reaching out to people.

Now experiencing new things has never been that big of a deal. I like adventure so that sort of thing is not a problem, that is, unless people are around that might criticize me or put me down for not being able to do it and then I am.

How did I get over this? How do you get over this?

By being logical. I just watched the new Star Trek movie. Remember Spock, the guy with the pointy ears! Everything he does is based on logic. Here’s is the logic about this subject.

Reaching out to someone is hard, but they may very well feel the same way. Lots of people are afraid of the same thing you are and feel that the risk of reaching out is just too much. They may be very pleased that you reached out to them. Show the tiniest bit of interest in them and you will see them warm to the situation.

The next logical thing is that if the person is not someone that you are compatible with, or they do reject you, it will not kill you. Look, we can’t please everybody. There are people in this word that you don’t like. There are people in this world that don’t like you. I know, that’s a shock, but it’s true. Risk reaching out and you might be rejected, but logic will tell you that the other person isn’t someone you would want to hang out with anyway. Think about it! Would you want to hang out with someone because they tolerated you and really didn’t like you, but kept you around for a pet? Better to be rejected!

The same is true about doing things in life.

The first bit of logic is that you will fail, so why worry about it. We learn by failing. That’s how we do it! You learn math by working on a problem and getting it wrong and then figuring out how to do it right. Look at a young child learning how to walk. They don’t worry about failure. The take a step or two, fall, get back up, take some steps, fall. They learn to balance, how to avoid falling by falling. It doesn’t take long and they have it down. Most anything I have ever learned to do, I did it by failing first and then figuring out how to do it right.

The second bit of logic is that failing probably won’t kill you. I say probably because if you fail at something like sky-diving for your first time, it might, but that is an exception. Most of the time, you either learn to do something right, or you learn that you don’t like doing it.

I have tried several different types of work, found some I liked and some I didn’t. I try not to think of the ones I didn’t as failures, but as learning something I did not like to do. I know you have heard the saying that the one with the most home runs is also the one with the most strike-outs. You have to risk, you have to try if you want to be successful. It is not going to just fall into your lap!

The more you reach out to others and to life, the more of each you will have in your life. The more you sit in your darkened room, fearing failure or rejection, the less life and love you will have!

P.S. Look for some design changes here. I am changing themes and that means a whole new look soon!