People Liking People

Written by on June 12, 2010 - 3 Comments
Categories: Self Improvement

Recently, I came to a startling understanding about myself. I am judgmental. I always thought of myself as someone who accepts others as they are. I hate being put in a box and I felt that I gave others the same freedom. It wasn’t true. I wanted to label people and categorize them.

people

This understanding came as I began to open up more to others. It was really a part of my goal of opening myself up to others, to allow them to see the real me. In doing this, I had to become more engaged with them as I spoke to them, related to them. To do this, I had to understand who and what they were.

This may all sound rather trivial to you, but it was a revelation to me. As I got to know others for who and what they were, I had to deal with my own preconceived notions. I would see someone and immediately form an opinion as to who they were and what their personality was. I was seldom right, at least not to the point I thought I would be.

As I learned to accept myself and open myself to others, I had to learn to accept them, not for who I thought they were, but who they really were. Some people were much nicer than I thought and some not as nice. Some were as open and cultured as I thought, some, not so much.

The thing about this is, as I lowered my own defenses, I began to see people for who they truly were. I found that I enjoyed who they really were when I no longer laid my crap on them. Since I tend to be critical, I expected people to be less. When I allowed them to be who they really were, I was delighted to find that they were much better than my mind told me. I found the same thing about me.

As I allowed myself to be more open, less caring about whether or not someone accepted me or not, I liked myself a lot more. Since I seemed less uptight and defensive, they liked me more. A vicious circle of people liking people made its way into my mind. Could this actually be how we are supposed to act? We learn to like ourselves and others for who they are! What a concept. If we stopped all the rhetoric about race, gender, religion, education, and so on, we might actually all get along. At least until the beer runs out!

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  • chris

    Am so delighted to encounter you vide an email on my box. What came to my mind was ah! so we still have people who think this way? We( the whole world population) have so decimated our relationship with religion to such a deplorable,unprecedented level from Adam.
    The issue is that people forget too often that no religion or culture is superior to another.So why do I care any hoot if you are a muslim or hindu? It is of no significance. By the way, it is your life?
    In spite of all these, we still share a lot in common and we can still tolerate one another. There are areas of human life where race or creed do not make any sense at all.Let`s harness those areas.
    For now, kudos for your bold step and I want to assure you that the entire world is watching you!

  • http://lifechangeforu.com Wendy

    I have to say when you believe in something with your whole heart you want to share it. I don’t see why everyone can’t express their belief without being criticized. Religion is nowhere. It’s about relationship with God and knowing His word. I love the Lord. God gives us free will so we all need to decide if Jesus is truly the Son of God as I believe or He’s a lunatic and liar. Let me just say this, did we just come out of nowhere. That’s like saying cars, computers, tvs, etc appeared out of nowhere. They were created as were we. I pray for all to find the truth.

  • Steve

    To believe what you believe, and not criticize another for believing differently is a tough one for a lot of people. They say the are not judgmental, but when it comes down to it, they have a hard time accepting the other person’s point of view. Race and religion are two of the strongest forces to overcome when it comes to not judging others, IMHO!