This site is about how to change your life. I have read several posts on other sites saying that you are fine the way you are. You don’t need to change anything.

You are unique and made to make a dent.

The problem with that is, none of us feel as if that is really true. There are things in our lives that just don’t feel right and we want to change them. We often feel lost and have no idea what we are doing.

Well, both of those things are true, at least to some extent.

Sure, there are things in your life that you want to change. None of us are perfect! It’s true in my life and it’s true in yours.

Here’s the thing, you are unique and you are gifted and talented to do specific things.

Do I mean that you were preordained to be a diesel mechanic or something and if you are now a banker, you are going against the Universe’s plan for your life? If you are destined to be a beautician and you are now a diesel mechanic, are you throwing dirt in God’s face?

No, that’s not what I meant. What I mean is we are all given gifts and talents that allow us to be naturally bent in one direction.

I am not mechanically gifted! I don’t like working with machinery and I find it difficult. Does that mean I could never be a mechanic? No, I could learn how. It would be a struggle, and I probably wouldn’t be happy in life, but I could learn it.

The same is true for you. You are gifted and talented in certain areas. It is how you are meant to influence the world. You might be an artist, or you might be an accountant. Your gifts and talents are the things you enjoy doing.

Steve Jobs, the man who brought us the apple computer, said,

“We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise, why else even be here?”

I think those words are so true. We are each meant to put a dent in the universe. We are gifted and talented to do just that. No, it might not be a huge dent, but it is a mark, nonetheless.

If you are unhappy in your work and your life, it is very likely that you are not doing what you are gifted and talented to do. You are not making your dent in the universe. You are trying to make someone else’s dent and it just isn’t working out.

Take some time to think about what your passions are, what your gifts and talents are. Are you currently using them? Could you use them in your present position? If not, are you willing to make the change that will allow you to do so?

Sure, you have things that need changing. That does not mean, however, that you are no good. You simply are not living up to your denting capabilities.

Go make a dent!

Okay, so here it is the Fourth of July, Independence Day. It is the day we, in the United States, celebrate our independence from Great Britain. I thought about that and realized that most people want the same things that this country did. We want independence for ourselves. We want to be free from oppression and others telling us what to do.

To hell with the tyrants! Declare your own independence!

What is it that keeps you down? Is it really others or is it yourself. It would be my guess that it is more yourself than it is someone else.

Even if you are in an abusive relationship, it is your willingness to stay in that relationship that keeps you there. Well, unless the other person keeps you bound and chained against your will in the basement. In that case, you probably aren’t reading this anyway.

What to do?

When the colonies decided to rebel against Great Britain, they took into account what that would mean. They knew that there would be bloodshed. They knew that it would not be easy. They also knew that the end result would be well worth the effort.

Do you feel that way about your life?

Think about the person you dream of being. Is the struggle, the effort to much to ask? If it’s something you really want, I bet you answered that with a no. You are more than willing to do whatever it takes to become that new vibrant person.

The problem is, it is so hard to just accept the status quo. It is so easy to make yourself believe that things aren’t really that bad. Only you can decide that.

If you want to change, then here are some suggestions.

• Decide that you are unwilling to live under that present regime.
• Understand the cost of making this change. How much blood will have to be spilled (figuratively of course!) to make this change?
• Gather people around you who are willing to help you with this open rebellion.
• Once the first shot is fired, refuse to give up. “Give me liberty or give me death,” Patrick Henry said. Let that be your motto as well!

The quest for independence is a noble one. It is full of hardship and struggle. In the end. It is worth every minute! Now is the time for you! Down with the tyrant! (That’s you by the way) We want our independence!

Don’t you think you’re worth it?

Life change is a long road. I wish it weren’t! If you are anything like the rest of us, your life seems to be made up of spurts, roadblocks, and setbacks. Oh yea, and a little progress here and there. Doesn’t that suck?

My life has been a long journey of changes and slowly working toward being the person I really want to be. Wouldn’t it be great to have all the changes happen at once, say around the age of sixteen and you were the perfect person from then on?

Not gonna happen!

So what do you do about it? Well, you keep on keepin’ on! You put one foot in front of the other and keep working toward that goal of the perfect you.

Will you ever get there?

It’s unlikely, but you will steadily progress and improve. You see, this is a life that doesn’t understand perfect, but it does understand progress. The more you work at it, the more you progress toward that perfect vision of who you want to be.

I know it isn’t easy.

Each day, get up and say to yourself that this day will be better than the rest. This day will move you toward your goal of the perfect you. You know that it might all fall apart, but you will try this day to be who and what you want to be.

You are worth it! You are worth the struggle. You are worth the effort that it is going to take. You are worth every single moment of the fight to become a better you. I know it’s true. Now all we have to do is convince you!

Recently, I came to a startling understanding about myself. I am judgmental. I always thought of myself as someone who accepts others as they are. I hate being put in a box and I felt that I gave others the same freedom. It wasn’t true. I wanted to label people and categorize them.

This understanding came as I began to open up more to others. It was really a part of my goal of opening myself up to others, to allow them to see the real me. In doing this, I had to become more engaged with them as I spoke to them, related to them. To do this, I had to understand who and what they were.

This may all sound rather trivial to you, but it was a revelation to me. As I got to know others for who and what they were, I had to deal with my own preconceived notions. I would see someone and immediately form an opinion as to who they were and what their personality was. I was seldom right, at least not to the point I thought I would be.

As I learned to accept myself and open myself to others, I had to learn to accept them, not for who I thought they were, but who they really were. Some people were much nicer than I thought and some not as nice. Some were as open and cultured as I thought, some, not so much.

The thing about this is, as I lowered my own defenses, I began to see people for who they truly were. I found that I enjoyed who they really were when I no longer laid my crap on them. Since I tend to be critical, I expected people to be less. When I allowed them to be who they really were, I was delighted to find that they were much better than my mind told me. I found the same thing about me.

As I allowed myself to be more open, less caring about whether or not someone accepted me or not, I liked myself a lot more. Since I seemed less uptight and defensive, they liked me more. A vicious circle of people liking people made its way into my mind. Could this actually be how we are supposed to act? We learn to like ourselves and others for who they are! What a concept. If we stopped all the rhetoric about race, gender, religion, education, and so on, we might actually all get along. At least until the beer runs out!

Self Determination

Do you have self determination? You may be asking yourself what determination even is. The dictionary defines determination as “the act of coming to a decision or of fixing or settling a purpose.” Do you have that?

Do you know what you want?

What is it you want most in life? What are you doing toward achieving that goal? What have you done in the past and what are you planning to do in the near future; the distant future?

I have written enough recently about finding your purpose or your goals. What I want to write about now is having the determination to carry through with whatever it is you have decided you want to do.

Many times people do know what they want, but they never do anything toward achieving it. Oh, they might do a few half hearted things that really amount to nothing, but they do nothing concrete about it.

What are your fears?

There are many reasons why. Some are afraid that if they try, they will fail and some are afraid that if they try they might succeed. Some are afraid that if they try, others will find out about it and ridicule them. Do any of those reasons sound familiar to you?

Here is the biggest one, in my opinion. I have no statistics to back this up, it is purely my thoughts. I believe that most people never try because, for whatever reason, they don’t believe they can do it. How about that?

You must believe in yourself!

You cannot have determination if you have no belief in yourself. You must believe that what you want can come to reality or at least close or you will never have the determination to get through the hard times, the ridicule that might come and the self doubt.

What is your determination like? Do you have the determination to believe in yourself enough to do something wonderful in your life? Do you have the sort of faith in yourself that will allow you to live at least a few of your dreams?

Here’s to You!

P.S. Here is a book that is rated highly for those who want to improve their lives and perhaps get a little self determination. I haven’t read it yet, but it is definitely on my list to read! It is worth a look!

Overcoming Fear

Overcoming fear; that’s a tall order for many of us. We develop fears when we are children and carry them with us all through our lives. However, as we work to improve our lives, overcoming fear is not only a good thing, it is an essential thing.

There has been a lot of talk over the last few years about the law of attraction. The law basically states that we attract into our lives what we think about and believe. Now I want to say right here and now that, for the most part, I believe in the law of attraction. Where I differ from some is that I do not believe that we attract things out of thin air, out of the cosmos. I believe that we “attract” things by our actions. We think about success, we act toward success, we attract success. We manifest the attraction.

It is said that positive thoughts are stronger than negative ones and that may well be true. Once you have control of your thought processes, the positive will always win out over the negative. First you have to have control.

I said that we develop most of our fears when we are children and that is true. Since we develop them early, they have a strong hold on the way we think. Since we attract what we think about, this means that we attract negative things.

How does fear really attract negative stuff?

Now I have always heard this and understood it to mean that we attract negative stuff because we fear the positive. For instance, we fear success because we subconsciously believe that we are unable to handle success or we are undeserving of success. Therefore, we attract failure. Perhaps we fear having money because we think we can’t handle it so we attract poverty.

This is not correct! We attract the negative because we fear that very thing! If we fear poverty, not having enough money to pay the bills, barely scraping by, that’s what we think about. Since we think about it, we attract it. If we fear having a heart attack, we think about it obsessively and drive ourselves to having a heart attack.

It may seem like a small difference, but really it is quite large. I used to think that I feared success and that was why I failed at things. The problem was when I really thought about it, I didn’t feel like I feared success; I wanted it! Then I understood that what I feared was failure, and since the fear caused me to think about it, I acted like a failure and I failed. I feared being in poor health and since I thought about it, I didn’t exercise, because of my poor health and I attracted it.

What to do???

Write down the things in your life that you don’t like. What are the things that you would like to change? Now, be honest with your self and see if you are afraid of those things. I would guess that you will find some fear behind each of the things about your life you dislike. Learn to overcome the fear and you will improve your life!

Here’s to You!