Seeking The Extraordinary Life

How To Change The Other Person

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I’ve had several people ask me about dealing with relationships. Most people will tell you that there is little you can do to change another person’s outlook on life or how they treat others. To some degree, I will go along with that. The other person always has a choice. There is only one life you can, without fail, change. That life is your own.

How to change someone else.

Okay, so that title is a bit misleading. You can’t always change someone else. It’s not like there is some incantation that will make them do what you want. If there is, I don’t know it. If you do, please write and tell me!

Let me tell you a story.

Today I went to buy lunch for myself and my wife. I hit the little place where I was going to buy a take out lunch right at the time they seemed to get several call-in orders. This place is very popular with the local businesses.

When the guy came up to the order window, I could tell he was rushed. I gave him my order and he disappeared to start making it.

I stood there about five minutes when a lady walked up to the window to order. The people in the back were so busy they did not see her. She waited a couple of minutes and then said something under her breath and stormed off.

Had they seen her and come to the window, I’m sure she would not have been pleasant.

I knew they had lost an order due to being so busy. I started sending them thoughts that things would go easy for them. I sent them thoughts that they would put together the meals they had to prepare quickly and easily.

In just a minute or two, a young lady of Hispanic decent came out with my order. The way she spoke, I could tell Spanish was her native tongue and I thanked her with “Gracious!” She smiled a huge smile and said, “De Nada.”

Now, did I really cause them to be able to put my lunches together quicker than if I had not sent those thoughts and energies? I have no idea. What I did do was cause my own attitude to be one of graciousness and giving. I wasn’t upset; I was trying to help them in the only way I could.

The other woman sent negative energy and if they had served her, I’m sure she would have been grouchy and the interchange would not have been enjoyable for either of them.

When you are having relationship difficulties, try the same thing. Love them as best you can. Send them thoughts, prayer, energy, whatever you believe in, to help them in their life.

Will it change anything for them?

It might. I believe that what we put out comes back, but there isn’t much you can do to prove it. What I do believe is that you own attitude will change toward that person. Because you are kinder, they will return that kindness, to some degree.

You know for a fact that if you snap at someone, they will often be curt back to you. If you smile at them, they will smile back. It isn’t rocket science and it isn’t some woo-woo, magic formula. It’s just human nature.

Will it work every time? No, you cannot control others. It will, however, work every time with you. Every time you are kind and put out positive thoughts and energy, you will feel better. If the other person does not respond to the kindness, it is their problem.

What kind of relationship problems are you having? Have you tried this method on that problem? How did it work out? Leave a comment and share with us. If you don’t, you’re stuck with your problem by yourself!

P.S. I tried something new with this post. You have written content, a video, and a podcast version of the video. Something for everyone! Let me know if you like it or not.

How To Find The Change That Is Right For You

Life change is something that is ongoing. Some people think that if they could just get “this one thing,” everything would be fine and they would be complete. I don’t believe we are ever complete, but we grow.

How to find the change that is right for you.

Just recently, I sent out a survey. A few of you took the time to respond, and for that, I am very grateful. If you missed it and would like to put your two cents in then here is the link.

Anyway, those who did respond indicated they would like a more interactive resource. I thought very seriously about starting a forum for you to link up with each other and talk about ways you would like to change or give stories about how you did and what worked.

I even had a forum about three-fourths set up. I realized that a forum is not me right now. It isn’t something I can do and do it well. I don’t want to give you, my readers, something that I don’t feel fully committed to.

The other deciding factor was, when I did research about starting a forum, one of the big deciding factors was if I was getting lots of comments. I don’t at this point.

I decided that starting a forum is probably not my best use of time. When comment start to climb, I’ll think about it again.

The responses to the survey also indicated that videos and podcasts would be helpful. Since I have done both in the past, this sounded like something I could easily do.

I will.

What has this got to do with you changing your life?

When changes seem to loom on the horizon, spend some time to look at the change from all sides. Spend some time to sit and listen to your intuition or your deeper self. Ask if this is something you want to do. Are their fears involved? Are you unsure and thats’ why you refuse to change?

The deeper self can turn the light on the things that go bump in the night within your subconscious and your spirit. If the change you want to make is truly not a part of who you want to become, then let it go. If the change is something you want, but you are afraid, then welcome to the club! Nearly everyone is afraid of change. It’s scary. It’s stepping out into the unknown!

It is inevitable!

Each day brings opportunity for change. Each day brings the need to change. Without knowing which changes are right for you, for your journey, it can be a bit frustrating.

Learn to listen. Know yourself as best you can and do what is right for you. You won’t regret it!

P.S. Don’t forget to leave a comment. It’s how we can make this site more interactive!

One Way To Change Your Life; Gratitude.

We all live lives that are busy. It doesn’t matter who you are, your life is filled each day with things to do. Sometimes our lives get over burdened and we begin to feel like it is more than we can take. Here’s one way to make that change.

Start the day with gratitude.

I’m going to give you a link to a video that is very much worth your time to watch. It is just under ten minutes, but they might be the best ten minutes you have spent in a long time.

No, I didn’t make the video. This isn’t some hyped up way to get you to watch something I did. It’s about how to change your life.

Isn’t that why you’re here?

Changing your life takes many facets, many techniques. Changing your life might be easy, but more than likely, it will take effort and practice.

Having a sense of gratitude for each day can change your outlook, and that’s the most important way to change your life.

The video is a TEDx video and the presenter is Louie Schwartzberg. Mr. Schwartzberg is a well known photographer and video maker.

Watch it. It will change your life!

How To Find Your Authority

Are you waiting for some sign, some authentication that you can go ahead with whatever it is you want to do? Maybe you feel you know what your life’s path is, maybe you feel what it is you want to do, but you feel like you don’t have the credentials. You feel like you need some sort of degree or certification before you begin.

How to find your authority!

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that, if you want to be a Doctor, you don’t need to go to medical school. There are certain vocations that definitely need certification or degrees.

What I am saying is that if you know in your heart what it is you want to do, you should not wait around for someone to tell you it’s okay. Sure, you may have someone telling you that you’re crazy for wanting to do whatever it is you want to do. They may make you feel that you need some sort of authentication. You don’t.

There’s a story in the Bible about Jesus teaching in the temple and some of the church leaders come to him and ask by what authority he’s teaching the people. He asks them a question that they don’t want to answer and he tells them since they won’t answer him, he won’t answer them!

The point to the story is that the church leaders are wanting him to show them his seminary diploma or something. They want him to show them that he is “official.” He doesn’t. He knows he doesn’t have to.

Neither do you!

You are here for some purpose. You are gifted and talented in certain ways to do things. How did you get them?

The big hoo hoo.

I don’t care if you call it God, the Universe, or whatever, there is something larger than us. There is something out there that designs the universe. That same power designed you, designed you the way you are with those gifts and talents I was talking about. Do you think that, if God created you the way you are to touch the world in your special way, that you need someone to certify that it’s okay for you to do that?

Sounds sorta crazy doesn’t it?

Don’t wait to start living your dream. Don’t wait for someone to give you some sort of authenticating blessing. Start working toward whatever your dream is. If it takes schooling, go enroll. If it takes money, start looking for it. Whatever it takes, get busy making it happen.

The authority has already been given!

How Do You Change The World? You Make A Dent.

This site is about how to change your life. I have read several posts on other sites saying that you are fine the way you are. You don’t need to change anything.

You are unique and made to make a dent.

The problem with that is, none of us feel as if that is really true. There are things in our lives that just don’t feel right and we want to change them. We often feel lost and have no idea what we are doing.

Well, both of those things are true, at least to some extent.

Sure, there are things in your life that you want to change. None of us are perfect! It’s true in my life and it’s true in yours.

Here’s the thing, you are unique and you are gifted and talented to do specific things.

Do I mean that you were preordained to be a diesel mechanic or something and if you are now a banker, you are going against the Universe’s plan for your life? If you are destined to be a beautician and you are now a diesel mechanic, are you throwing dirt in God’s face?

No, that’s not what I meant. What I mean is we are all given gifts and talents that allow us to be naturally bent in one direction.

I am not mechanically gifted! I don’t like working with machinery and I find it difficult. Does that mean I could never be a mechanic? No, I could learn how. It would be a struggle, and I probably wouldn’t be happy in life, but I could learn it.

The same is true for you. You are gifted and talented in certain areas. It is how you are meant to influence the world. You might be an artist, or you might be an accountant. Your gifts and talents are the things you enjoy doing.

Steve Jobs, the man who brought us the apple computer, said,

“We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise, why else even be here?”

I think those words are so true. We are each meant to put a dent in the universe. We are gifted and talented to do just that. No, it might not be a huge dent, but it is a mark, nonetheless.

If you are unhappy in your work and your life, it is very likely that you are not doing what you are gifted and talented to do. You are not making your dent in the universe. You are trying to make someone else’s dent and it just isn’t working out.

Take some time to think about what your passions are, what your gifts and talents are. Are you currently using them? Could you use them in your present position? If not, are you willing to make the change that will allow you to do so?

Sure, you have things that need changing. That does not mean, however, that you are no good. You simply are not living up to your denting capabilities.

Go make a dent!

How To Leave Your Zombie Life Behind

Do you feel like you are just stumbling through life? Maybe you feel as if the life you live really isn’t your own. It’s like you are watching it from the outside and you have no control! It’s almost like you’re a zombie, the walking dead.

How to leave your zombie life behind.

Leaving the zombie life isn’t difficult, but it can seem that way. What do you have to do?

Know what it is that will make your life feel alive.

Zombies don’t know what it is they want. Well, maybe they know they want to eat your flesh, but they don’t really know.

What do you want? What would it look like if you were living the life you really want? Write it down. Draw it in pictures! Record it in your own voice so that you can play it back over and over.

Knowing what you really want can be one of the most difficult things. It seems like you should know, but if you really think about it, if you had to tell someone else what it would be, it might be harder than you think.

Recognize the things that keep you from living your ideal life.

Zombies will walk right into the wall of flame or barbed wire over and over again. They don’t see the block, they just keep butting their heads against it!

What are the things, the hindrances, that keep you from living your ideal life? Here, you have to be very honest. Let’s not spend time blaming others or situations. Lets just understand what it is that we allow to stand in our way. Take responsibility for those hindrances being there.

Sure, it might be that another person is in the way, but you are allowing it to happen. Unless they have you chained up in the basement, you don’t have to work for them, be in a relationship with them, be around them. You can go a different direction and get away from their influence.

Stop procrastinating and do what needs to be done.

Here is one area where we might learn from zombies. It doesn’t seem that they just lie in their graves forever. The get up and go after what they want. No, you might say that they laid their for years before whatever awakened them got them moving, but the zombies I’ve seem (in movies, not really) seem to get right to business.

We all spend time dreaming about what we want to do, but if all you do is dream, then nothing ever happens. I know, I’m the worlds biggest dreamer!

You might think you have no idea what it is you need to do. Then the first step is to learn it. Go! Go right now and learn something about what you want to do. Then learn something else. Now you have two things you have learned. Put one of them into practice.

You see, putting off action turns your dream into a wish. Wishes rarely happen. You have to put action into your dreams before they go anywhere. It’s like putting gas in a car. No gas, no movement.

There you go. Three simple steps to leaving the zombie life behind. They are all something you can do right now, before you go to bed, or are you laying in your grave?

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