Usually, when I am upset, and this is true for most people, I am either thinking about something that has happened, like how I blew my morning, or something that was going to happen, I would have to come back to the store. It very often has very little to do with the present moment. In most cases, the present moment is perfect. You have everything you need right at that one moment in time.

When you bring yourself to the present moment and you allow yourself to think of nothing else, then problems in the past and worries about the future all seem to disappear. You can’t think about the past in the present moment, it is gone. You can’t think about the future in the present moment, it isn’t there yet. If you allow yourself only the present moment, then all else slips away.

As I started trying to keep my thoughts in the present moment, I found my anger quickly dissipating. I was no longer fuming about screwing up this morning, it was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. I was not worried about having to return to the store, that was sometime in the future.

It works the same for being depressed, how can you be sad in one moment? The past is gone and the future is not here yet. It works for being lonely, no past, no future, only the perfect now.

Next time you are out of sorts for whatever reason, try spending just ten minutes keeping your thoughts in the present moment. If your thoughts wander, gently bring them back to the now. See if being in the present moment doesn’t help.

The concept that life is a decision is not a new one to me. I have thought this for a long time, but recently, it has really been making an impact on me and my life. We make decisions everyday, just about every minute. The results of those decisions are what our life looks like. If we decide to be happy, we are. If we decide to let ourselves be angry, we are. The point is, our lives are the result of our decisions. Let me give you an example.

This morning I woke up happy and ready to go. I was behind in my work because of being gone all day yesterday. I knew I had a lot to do and I was trying to get an early start. Something came up and I started to be upset about it. I thought about making decisions and I consciously decided not to let this situation get to me. It took a few minutes, but I soon was not bothered by it.

I know you may be thinking that it isn’t that easy. Yes, it is. I understand that deeply ingrained emotions are hard to control, I still struggle with anger, but you can decide. Whatever is upsetting you or making your life unhappy, simply decide to not let it bother you, or decide to do something different. You may have to repeat the decision over and over to yourself, but it can be done. The more you get used to this process, the easier it becomes.

Do you want to feel like your life is good? Then decide that it is. No, I don’t mean that you decide that as soon as you win the lottery life will be good. I mean decide that right where you are, no matter the situation, life is good. The roof of your house caved in? Life is good. The transmission in your car fell out on the driveway? Life is good! You see, the decision that life is good is not determined by the situation, but by your attitude. I have seen people that were in situations that I would never want to be in and their attitude was much better than mine.

Life is a decision. You decide if it is good or not. You decide if you are happy or not. You may think that you did not decide to be unhappy, but you did. You may say that you are unhappy because you live in war torn Slobovia. There are happy people living in Slobovia, you just decided not to be one of them! Start to day to decide the life you want. Do not wait until things are good. Decide now when they may not be so good. They will improve immediately. Do it now!

http://lifechangeforu.com/?p=1717 Would you like to know how to change your life? I can tell you one way that I did that took only a matter of seconds. If you read the title of this post, then you know the answer. It is by practicing mindfulness.

I was sitting in meditation one day and came to the realization that this concept of practicing mindfulness was what I was missing. I wanted to change my life, but I was always worrying about the future or thinking about past failures. My life was not changing. When I remember and am practicing mindfulness, the present moment can be a thing of great satisfaction.

Now I know that this sounds simplistic, but if you want to know how to change your life in seconds, this is it! Sure there is more to what it takes to change your life, but this one concept will change it to some degree in seconds.

Let me give you two examples from every humans two most basics instincts, food and sex. Let’s start with food. I know! Just hang on; we’ll get to the fun part in a second.

Most of us eat our meals or snacks without thinking at all. We hardly know what the food we just ate tasted like. The next time you eat, slow down and purposely notice the taste of each bite. Chew slowly and notice how the food feels in your mouth. Be mindful of just how it tastes. This is a great way to practice mindfulness and it is very pleasurable. OK, now to the part you really wanted to hear about.

Sex. How often do you have sex and you are so involved in some fantasy or other that you are hardly aware of your partner? Sadly, they are sometimes little more than a masturbation aid. Practicing mindfulness during sex can be very satisfying! Feel each sensation. Notice your partners subtle hints of what they like. Be aware of your and their breathing and how it increases or decreases during certain parts of your lovemaking.

Once you learn to be aware in these two experiences, you can apply the art of practicing mindfulness to other areas of your life. If you are serious about wanting to change your life, then try this very simple technique. It doesn’t take much and you will certainly find yourself enjoying life much more fully!

I wanted to change my life and this is one way that I found that really works. I can’t say I remember to do it all the time. I would be happy if I remembered to do it forty percent of the time. The thing is, when I do, it makes a huge difference!

Why do I say that? Because I was so taken by her that I started noticing other people around the same age. Most of them had a sour expression on their face and looked much older. I saw her walk and she had a slight limp, but it didn’t seem to slow her down. Others I watched had various difficulties, but the all looked to be in much more misery than she did.

What’s this got to do with me?

Well, I’ll ask you what your demeanor is like. Are you happy and upbeat, like this receptionist or are you grumpy and sour like so many others I saw? How do you feel; physically and mentally? Do other people like to be around you? Do you like to be around other people?

You have the choice to be happy or not. The decision to put a smile on your face and make the most of the day is yours. No one else can tell you how to feel. If you are happy and upbeat, it will be hard for others to bring you down, although it can happen after some time. If you are down, it will take someone else quite a while to bring you back up.

How do I change my mood? There’s nothing to be happy about!

I have no doubt that things can be bad for you. The questions is, what good is it doing you to be down. I don’t care if you are dying of some incurable disease, being depressed and down or worse yet, angry, is not doing you any good at all! Some studies actually show that it is doing you harm!

I can’t tell you how to change your mood other than to just decide to not be down, but to be happy. I have battled a negative grumpy demeanor my whole life so I know it is not easy. I also know that it is as easy as making the decision and putting a smile on your face, even if it is forced at first.

Yeah, but how do I really do this?

There is a great book out called How We Choose to Be Happy: The 9 Choices of Extremely Happy People–Their Secrets, Their Stories
It is about studies done on “happy” people and what makes them that way. The book says that they found a strong relationship to happiness and health, happiness a wealth, happiness and success. I suppose that you can do this on your own, but this book seems to be a good one to reference! If you really want to become like the receptionist I met, like the people in How We Choose to Be Happy: The 9 Choices of Extremely Happy People–Their Secrets, Their Stories, then this is the book for you. It is am easy read and you will find yourself wanting to be like some of the people it describes!

P.S. Here’s another one! How to Be Happy, Dammit: A Cynic’s Guide to Spiritual Happiness. I’ve not read it, but I like the title!

fear

There are three fears that nearly everyone deals with to some degree or other. These fears do more to stop us from being who and what we want to be than any other

The fear of poverty

The first fear is the fear of poverty. Now I don’t necessarily mean just lack of money, but poverty in a wider sense.

Fear of poverty can be the fear of not having enough to eat, or not paying bills. It is the fear of lack of some sort. We are afraid that we lack something and will always be lacking it

To overcome this fear we need to realize that what we think about, what we believe and work toward becomes reality. If we believe that we are poor, if we think about being in want, if we act as if we lack something. It will surely become reality.

The other side is to be sure that we will have all we need. We believe that the Infinite will help us to get what we need. We think about how we can participate in the Universe’s plan to keep us from want and we act on those thoughts and beliefs.

The fear of criticism

The second fear is the fear of criticism. Now the fear of criticism is not just that someone might say something bad about us, but that we lack the power to do anything about it. We fear being a victim of our powerlessness. We are afraid that we must put the butt of everyone’s jokes and that nothing we ever do will be perceived as being of worth.

The way to get over this fear is to understand that you are a unique and special person. No one has ever existed quite like you and never will in the future. You have gifts and talents that no one else has in the same proportion. All you have to do is be the best you possible and it will be fine.

The fear of death

The third fear is the fear of death. We are afraid that we will die before we get to do what we want to do. We are afraid that we will die and go to some hell that we don’t really deserve, or maybe do. We are afraid that we will no longer exist and that this life will all be for nothing, a complete waste and we will disappear.

You are a part of the Infinite. Your spirit is eternal. This body may die, but your spirit goes on. What you believe about the after life is your business. I will just say that I firmly believe that what we do here in this life, what we believe and who we are follows us. If we are miserable here, we will be less than joyous there. If we are constantly striving to be the creative beings we are meant to be here, then we will continue in this vain there.

The three fears do not have to have control over you. You do not have to be a slave to them. You can be you and not fear. Doesn’t that sound better?

Here’s to You!

Gift of Love

Are you wondering what to get that special someone for Valentines Day? You have thought and thought and there just done not seem to be the right gift. Here is a suggestion. Let those we love be perfectly themselves.

That’s not much of a gift!

You may not think that letting some one be themselves is much of a gift. To be honest, it would be the most wonderful gift you could give them. We all try to conform to the likes of others, to some degree or other, and especially those we love. Your loved one is doing the same thing. There are things that he or she would like to be or do, but they don’t because they are afraid it will hurt you or you won’t like it somehow.

For Valentine’s Day, allow them the space to be just who they are, or better yet, who they want to be. If they want to be wild and crazy, let them. If they want to lay on the couch and read all day, let them.

Giving freedom

Giving someone total freedom is a great gift. Imagine what it would be like it the roles were reversed and you were allowed to do exactly as you want. Wouldn’t that be a gift you would remember? Think of the most outlandish thing possible and imagine being given complete freedom to do it with the full blessing of the other. Wow!

Now give that same gift to your loved one. Tell them that they are free to do just what they want any way they want to do it. There are no boundaries and there are no conditions. For one day they are free to do as they please. You may be surprised what they choose to do and you might be pleasantly surprised!

If you love them…

There is an old saying that says if you love someone or something enough, you love them enough to let them go. That is really love! To give the gift of complete freedom is a gift most people are unwilling to give. They are afraid of the outcome or of rejection. Don’t be. Live on the wild side and give this gift. They will love you all the more for it!

Here’s to You!